''Sarah Palin got an iPad and she was complaining that it's not really that absorbent.'' —Bill Maher
''According to expense reports, Sarah Palin charged the state of Alaska over $21,000 for her children to travel with her on official business. In fairness to Gov. Palin, when she leaves them home alone they get pregnant.'' —Seth Meyers
''This week Sarah Palin's memoir became a bestseller. It's not even out yet. It's being translated in English.'' —Bill Maher
''People in Alaska are looking forward to Sarah Palin's memoir. They're already calling it 'The Book to Nowhere.''' —David Letterman
''Earlier today, Governor Sarah Palin held a meeting with several leaders from other countries to showcase her foreign policy expertise. That's right, yeah. Experts say the meeting took 90 seconds.'' —Conan O'Brien
''Well, according to a new post-election survey, people want Sarah Palin to run for president in 2012. It says she's been getting thousands of calls from people pleading with her to run, all Democrats.'' —Jay Leno
''Sarah Palin's new autobiography doesn't come out until November, but it is already No. 1 on Amazon. And if you go to the website, it says, 'People who bought this book also bought no other books in their entire life.''' —Jimmy Fallon
Sarah is a bad case of "Payton Place" syndrome. Good looks for white trash but no intellectual value whatsoever. - Unknown
''Naturally the smart thing to do to solve your economic woes is to demonize the Democrats. And of course, Sarah Palin is more than happy to oblige. She's been saying that Obama hangs out with terrorists. And you know, I think the evangelical lady who's in a video getting blessed by a witch doctor, who's married to a secessionist, and can't name a newspaper — she's right, Obama is scary.'' —Bill Maher
''According to expense reports, Sarah Palin charged the state of Alaska over $21,000 for her children to travel with her on official business. In fairness to Gov. Palin, when she leaves them home alone they get pregnant.'' —Seth Meyers
''This week Sarah Palin's memoir became a bestseller. It's not even out yet. It's being translated in English.'' —Bill Maher
''People in Alaska are looking forward to Sarah Palin's memoir. They're already calling it 'The Book to Nowhere.''' —David Letterman
''Earlier today, Governor Sarah Palin held a meeting with several leaders from other countries to showcase her foreign policy expertise. That's right, yeah. Experts say the meeting took 90 seconds.'' —Conan O'Brien
''Well, according to a new post-election survey, people want Sarah Palin to run for president in 2012. It says she's been getting thousands of calls from people pleading with her to run, all Democrats.'' —Jay Leno
''Sarah Palin's new autobiography doesn't come out until November, but it is already No. 1 on Amazon. And if you go to the website, it says, 'People who bought this book also bought no other books in their entire life.''' —Jimmy Fallon
Sarah is a bad case of "Payton Place" syndrome. Good looks for white trash but no intellectual value whatsoever. - Unknown
''Naturally the smart thing to do to solve your economic woes is to demonize the Democrats. And of course, Sarah Palin is more than happy to oblige. She's been saying that Obama hangs out with terrorists. And you know, I think the evangelical lady who's in a video getting blessed by a witch doctor, who's married to a secessionist, and can't name a newspaper — she's right, Obama is scary.'' —Bill Maher
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